I feel like it's taboo to discuss being burned out on riding. You've got Denny Emerson telling you you're not a real horsewoman unless you drag yourself out of your house and ride every day come hell or high water. You've got your own brain saying, "We spend way too much on this every month to not participate." And opposing all that you've got the reality of your real adult life.
|Things I did while not riding: decorate my house for Christmas.|
It was glorious.
|Things I did while not riding: Watch YouTube videos of African Grey Parrots with my African Grey Parrot.|
I feel like we overlook it while we're in the middle of it, how much we give of ourselves to this hobby and how demanding it is. I've spent five years doing the hour and a half round trip to the barn four to five times a week, and I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it - but it is a lot. A lot of money, and a lot of time out of a busy adult schedule. It's completely unthinkable for a lot of people.
|Things I did while not riding: spend a lot of time with my husband, little dog, and not pictured, big dog.|
So I didn't let myself feel guilty, and I wondered when - or if - the day would come that I unbearably missed it. Of course I missed Connor, and I made a few trips out during the month just to feed him cookies and groom him which was great for both of us. But I wondered whether I would feel the need to be there again, and to push myself to become a better rider day in and day out.
|Things I did while not riding: Finally broke down and put a TV in the formal living room. And I like it.|
That day came two nights ago. I was out there to stuff a cookie in Connor and drop off a video camera with my trainer, and I looked out over the white rail fences and the outdoor I probably won't ride in again until spring and the cute little red and white barn and I missed it. All of it. That was the moment. I left knowing my lesson the next night would be the nail in the coffin, and I would be back.
|"I'm back, bitches"|