Heartwrenching

Lisa called me tonight and finally threw out a number at me on buying one of her Cobs.

It's really, really killing me.  I can't afford both lessons and board.  The rational side of me knows I need to be in lessons with my trainer.  I have to be.  I'm learning so much and improving so quickly with her.  I'm finally "filling in holes" that I've had in my riding for so long, and I'm gaining such finite control over myself and my horse while in the saddle.  I know, in my heart of hearts, that I am not ready to take on a green bean when I still have so much learning to do myself.  Dillan and my trainer are teaching me what I need to know in order to someday take on a green bean.

On the other hand...man I would take Contender in a heartbeat if I felt I could do him justice.  But I feel like I would just end up confusing him and confusing me, and that we wouldn't get anywhere.  If I had him, I would want to continue working with a trainer, and I just cannot afford board + lessons, let alone board + lessons + showing.

So here I am, stuck in this heartwrenching situation of wanting to continue to improve, but wanting my own horse.  Wanting to continue in my lessons, but wanting to buy my equine partner.  I know I'm choosing the right path, but it's so damn hard.

Thoughts?  Anything you've got will help.

2 comments:

  1. Don't buy the horse. There will be others. I can easily tell you the money is better spent at shows doing third level and above, and that to do that you need to be educated first.

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  2. Hi - I'm fairly new to your blog - I think this is my first comment, even...

    Sorry to hear you are in a tough situation... I know the feeling of wanting a horse so bad, but it sounds like you have an awesome coach and those lessons are really valuable to you.

    If it were me, I would resist buying a green horse until I was ready, but I don't know your whole story yet (working on your archives...!)so, I'm sure you'll make the decision that is right for you.

    Keep us posted!

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