Cob Jockey

Last weekend, I went back to my hometown to ferry a very special passenger to his new home.

Getting those ears into a selfie is no joke

Festus is my mom's 28 year old donkey, who we've owned since the spring of 1996 when we bought him as a companion animal for Little Red. He has a long and storied history as a no-way-no-how trailer loader - when we bought him, we ended up walking him the two miles home with 8 year old me on his back, and then when my parents moved around the block 10 years ago, they again walked him over. So as my parents prepared to move from southern Illinois to their forever home in Tennessee, my mom's biggest worry was how we'd move Festus.

Me and Festus, a long time ago

So I hauled my trailer over Thursday night, and first thing Friday morning, we got Jeannie and Blanche (lol) loaded into my parents' stock trailer. They're my parents' semi-tame no-shear sheep that basically serve as fuzzy lawn mowers.

Jeannie and Blanche like "WTF, this was not on our agenda for today"

Then it was Festus' turn. My mom's farrier of 25 years, who has actually known Festus since before we owned him, came out to help. My mom was a very novice horse owner when she brought Red and Festus home, and George has helped her through SO much. It was a poetic conclusion to their farrier-client relationship that he'd be the one to get him on the trailer.

We briefly tried convincing a hungry Festus to walk on for breakfast, but we all knew that wouldn't work, even though he had been braying his head off a few minutes before at the indignation of missing breakfast.

"I know this game"

In the end, getting him on only took about 15 minutes, with alternating bouts of muscling him forward and stopping to "let him pout", as George said. George looped a lariat through the interior tie rings of my trailer, and with me putting all my bodyweight onto the line and George and my dad's hands locked behind his butt, Festus didn't have much of a choice.

This is a sulking donkey

He actually hauled really well. If you've ever spent time around a donkey, you know they are just immeasurably smarter than horses, and I wasn't surprised when I stopped at a gas station to find Festus with his butt firmly wedged into the small angle of my slant, riding rear facing, and no indications in the shavings that he'd moved a muscle the entire journey. He found the easiest way to absorb the trailer's motion and stayed there the entire time.

Stopped for gas

Unsurprisingly, when we got him to my parents' new home, he leaped off the trailer without touching the ramp. Donkeys HATE it when the ground looks different, and I've survived more than one leap across a ditch on his back (which is no joke since he's built downhill with absolutely no withers!) But once that little bit of excitement was over with, he settled into his new digs.

Her most stressful part of the move over, my mom and I grabbed adult beverages and just hung out with him for a while.

One of my favorite ever pictures of the two of them!

The only remaining wildcard from that point forward was how Festus would do with the sheep. At the old house, he shared a fenceline but not a paddock with them, but here, he'd have to learn how to live with them, which theoretically shouldn't be an issue since donkeys are often used as livestock guardians, but you never know. 

Jeannie and Blanche napping in their new home

He spent a fair bit of time politely but firmly letting Jeanie and Blanche know he was the boss by running them off if they looked at him funny, but by the next morning, after it poured rain from 3am on, we found them sharing the run-in shed together like a weird new happy family.

The face of a donkey that hates being wet, and Blanche right behind him

With that, all of my mom's biggest fears were relieved. Festus' trip to Tennessee went fine, he integrated well with the sheep, and he did great in his new paddock even with his limited vision due to cataracts.

Drier times at the new place, still a work in progress!

For me, I was so grateful I could do this for my mom. She's given me so much, obviously the standard parent stuff but also the love of horses that has led me to pretty much arrange my whole life around them, so the fact that I could use my toys and my trailering skills to make this a safe and easy experience for her meant a lot.

My dad said Friday (after he saw me back a 20ft rented tow-behind camper down a hill around a turn between some trees last summer) when his retired buddies are bragging about their boat backing skills, he says he's got a daughter that can back a trailer better than any of them. I joked that he paid for my backing skills so he's earned the right to brag about them, since I had final exams in both backing a truck and trailer and backing a tractor and trailer in school for Equine Studies

And now, Festus gets to live the quiet retired life on an idyllic hill in Tennessee, and he never has to get on a trailer again as long as he lives. Enjoy retirement, little buddy!

Only a month behind!

1. How old is the youngest/greenest horse you've ever ridden?
I was the first person on Castleberrys Protege's (Shae's) back, and it was my first time riding a Welsh Cob. He was not quite three, but Dr. Marks assured me I weighed so little she was fine with it.  That deserves a post of its own sometime.

April of 2010

2. How old is the oldest horse that you have ridden?
Dillon, who saved my confidence, was 24 and semi-retired when I rode him when I first came to my trainer and barn nearly six years ago  He's now 29 and totally retired.


3. Were you scared of horses when you first started riding?
No, that came later!

4. Would you say you are more of a nervous or confident rider?
On ponies, I feel like I could conquer the world and giggle through bucking and bolting.  On horses, I am the biggest chicken that ever lived.  Not that I won't ride horses, but misbehaving horses feel completely different to me than misbehaving ponies.

Castleberrys Aviator smiling for the camera

5. Biggest pet peeve about non-horse people around horses?
One time during a break in the CrossFit Regionals Nicole and I wandered the Ohio State Fairgrounds and found people moving into a national Morgan show, complete with mostly Hispanic men setting up elaborate stall setups and owners in fancy cars.  Non horse people see that and think all horse owners are wealthy enough to put fountains and streetlights outside their show stalls for no reason at all.  It's so different from that for the average person.

From Morgan shows to media hours

6. A time that you've been scared for your life (horse-related)
That time we got caught in a freak snowstorm with horses, and the truck and trailer did a 180 across three lanes of I-275 in Cincy and stopped facing the wrong way on the interstate, one inch away from sliding (probably would have rolled sideways, actually) down a 30 ft embankment with no guard rail, and mature trees at the bottom.  Except I was WAY more scared for Connor's life than I was for mine.  There's no feeling like being certain you're going to watch your horse die at any moment as a result of a situation you've put him in.  Thankfully rig, people and horses were all totally fine, not even a scratch on any of us.  I actually cried when, an hour after that happened, I was finally able to throw open the trailer door and Connor greeted me with pricked ears and his usual nicker.

At our temporary housing that night, thanks to a kind network of Indiana eventers.

7. Have you ever fallen off at a show?  What happened?
Not that I can think of.

Taylor at an IHSA home show, 2009.  The pony that got me into ponies.  RIP little mare.

8. What's a breed of horse you've never ridden but would love to ride someday?
I'd love to ride a true draft, if only for the pictures of my legs sticking out the side like this:

From my 2011 post about riding Adagio in a lesson.

9. Describe the worst behaved horse you've ridden. 
Gosh, it's gotta be Bella the Wonder Pony.  Thanks, Austen.

The scale is hard to see here, but remember: I am not quite 5'1 and 105lbs. If I make something look small, IT'S REALLY SMALL.

This 12ish hand menace responded to everything I asked by first bucking, then obeying. And I had so much fun I came back a month later and rode her again.  Those posts from 2011 are pretty funny: Bella the Wonder Pony, Rematch with Bella the Wonder Pony

10. The most frustrating ride you've ever had
My parents' donkey Festus takes this one.  Growing up, I wasn't allowed to ride the horse, but could hop on Festus whenever I wanted as long as I had a helmet on.  I spent so much time bareback with a halter kicking valiantly as he ignored my little legs and grazed. Except that one time we were in the back pasture and he heard my mom come out to feed and cantered a couple hundred yards to the barn.  If you've never cantered a donkey bareback, it is a WEIRD feeling!