February 23, 2013

I Promise This is Horse Related

I was supposed to make it out to the barn to ride and then attend the barn party tonight, a potluck/team equine trivia night/2013 event schedule planning session, but I won't be attending because a good friend, teammate and drinking buddy of mine collapsed and died of a suspected stroke during one of our workouts at the gym today.  He was a charismatic guy in his late 30's that leaves behind a slew of heartbroken friends, a devoted wife, and two small girls who regularly played at the CrossFit workouts their parents did together - I am not handling this very well, whatever 'well' can mean in this situation.

He was as passionate about CrossFit as I am about riding.  We're both in great shape, and the two of us would often be the only two giggling and joking around when everyone was panting on the floor after a tough one, with our trainer grinning and asking if the two of us had worked hard enough.  He'd probably be okay going out the way he did, during a slow, heavy barbell workout with lots of joking around on a lazy Saturday morning, and he'd want us to go out for a beer to celebrate him, which we're doing tonight.

How is this horse related?  The rational side of brain often says that I should not have a horse in my twenties and should be living like a pauper while Nick and I work to pay off my car and his student loans, but times like this just convince me further that you have to do what makes you happy right now, because we have no guarantee that the future is going to go the way we've planned.  I'd rather be chipping away at our debt while scraping together entry fees for Connor and I's first event than spend seven years with a horse-shaped hole in my heart while on the fast track for student loan repayment.  Who knows where any of us will be seven years from now, and why should I take that for granted?  If it was me that died today instead of Daniel, with a husband, family, pony, trainer, gym, dogs, job and house that I love, I would die happy, and isn't that what matters most in the long run?

Rest in peace, Daniel, I raise my beer and my barbell to you.


  1. That is sad but it sounds like he had an awesome life. I agree, we shouldn't wait to live, but we can continue to live in a balanced way (like you do).

  2. So sorry Jen, but I am glad you see the positive side.

  3. Beautifully written. Sorry for your loss.

  4. Sounds like a great guy who will be dearly missed. Words could not be more true that you wrote.