Emotional Night

My lesson tonight was the kind of lesson that reaffirmed why I have a trainer and why the wheels fall off when she's not around.  He went from crazy and running through my hands in the beginning to soft, pliable and on the bit.  I can't do that on my own, and that made it all the more difficult to have the conversation I had to have with her.  My husband's best job prospect turned him down today, and starting September 1, I will have to shoulder the mortgage and his mortgage-worth of student loans every month in addition to what comes out of my check already.  Because I still have three months of car payments left, I'm going to have to leave my barn if he doesn't get a job in the next six weeks.

Where would we go?  I don't know.  There's a chance he'd have to go far enough away that I couldn't see him, like to my parents.  I do know is that if I leave this barn, I probably won't get back in, and I definitely wouldn't get the Sunday stalls back.  My trainer really likes us, but the waiting list is a mile long and this is a business with bills to pay.  If I can just make it work until I get those last three car payments paid, or until Nick gets a job, I am going to. I'll fight to stay here with everything I have, and I don't want to permanently leave because of a temporary hardship.

Not leaving my trainer (red) without a fight.

I barely held it in check emotionally during my lesson, and spent a good 15 minutes hand grazing Connor in the corner by the indoor with sunglasses on, crying.  I love this little horse, and how far we've come, and the fantastic barn family we have.  I want to move up to Beginner Novice with him this fall, go on long trail rides with the barn in Brown County, and keep him with his Lusitano BFF.  I want to keep him at this magical place with outstanding care, a trainer we both progress rapidly with, awesome fellow boarders that make the barn a better place, and wonderful facilities.  But most of all, I want to keep him.  Priorities, and that is number one.

We'll make it.  But real life sucks and student loans are evil, kids.  Just say no.

17 comments:

  1. (Hugs) you guys are in my thoughts and I'm crossing my fingers that something's comes up for you.

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  2. Student loans are evil. My husband is getting laid off in a few weeks, so I feel your struggle with finances and what to do about board. Best of luck, I really hope you can make it work! You and Conner have come so far :)

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  3. Will the student loan company defer payments for a few months until he can find a job?

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  4. I'm going with Karen here, I know me, and both my parents have postponed student payments when things are really tough. They are usually willing to work out a plan. Here's to hoping.

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  5. I am pulling for you. I have another year of car and student loans, so I know it hurts. Connor is young so if the worst happens remember you have time. Barry learned to event at age 14. These cobs retain knowledge so well.

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  6. I totally agree on the student loans. They suck! I agree that keeping Connor is number 1. You can do it! Definitely know that we are thinking about you guys right now. Why does life have to be so hard!?

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  7. Ugh I feel you on the student loans!! I hate hate hate mine and wish they weren't around!!!

    I agree with the others about deferig them for a bit till hubby finds a new job... They should do that!

    Hugs! I'm pulling for you all!!

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  8. Sounds like tough times, Jen. I really hope you can work it out so that Connor stays where he is, it's just perfect for you both. I agree with those who suggest deferring the loan. It certainly won't hurt to ask the loan company if it's possible.

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  9. I'm really sorry to read that... I have my fingers crossed that something works out for you guys. Maybe the student loan company will give you a break for 6 months or something. I know here in Canada people can defer loans for a bit during tough times.

    *hugs*

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  10. If it comes down to it, can you both move? I know the area I'm in now is night and day compared to 'home' as far as job prospects and wages go.
    Fingers crossed, but I know everything will work out for you both and hubby will find a job soon:)

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  11. Your post brought tears to my eyes. You work so hard to progress in your riding. You and Conner have come so far since I've been following you...

    When I was paying back my loans, which wasn't all that long ago, there were deferments available - of six months I think - allowed for hardship situations.

    I believe it added a bit of interest on to the total, but if that could help you swing things until your vehicle payment is done, then maybe it's worth looking into? There is also loan consolidation, which definitely adds some interest on, but lowers payment totals by wrapping all the loans into one.

    Don't despair - get that hubby of yours on the phone!!

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  12. Hang in there. Times like these make us stronger and more appreciative.

    At least, that's what I told myself all winter. Best of luck to you.

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  13. keep holding on! You are in my thoughts and I hope that you can get things sorted! I agree with the comment about times like this makes us stronger but they're hard to deal with!

    Hang in there *lots of hugs*

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  14. Dang! Agree with the others - try and get a few months deferred on his student loans. Keeping you all in my thoughts that the right job come along quick.

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  15. Hope you can get something worked out! *Hugs* Finances suck...

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  16. Best wishes. I hear your frustration and despair. I have to juggle childcare and horsecare expenses this year. It is scary.

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  17. Can either of you work an additional part time job to help costs? I worked 7 days a week for two years at one point to pay for the horses.... you guys will figure it out.

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