May 26, 2019

Very Specific Post-LASIK Instructions for Those Who've Recently Been to a Mary Wanless Clinic

Just before I went into the OR for LASIK last Friday, the optometrist tech was going over post-op instructions with me.  I've not exactly been great at following the doctor's orders in the past when it comes to like limbs or illnesses, but eyes are a different story, so I was peppering her with questions as I tried to find my boundaries.

Me: "What about dusty environments?"

Tech: "Try to avoid them if possible.  If you can't, wear goggles."

Me: "How about horseback riding?"

Tech: "Horseback riding itself is okay, even trotting and jumping would be fine, but what we'd be concerned about would be a fall damaging the eyes while the flaps are still healing, so we recommend avoiding it."

Me: (in my head: I am so due for a fall after not ever having fallen off of Connor, I am NOT tempting fate on this one.)

Tech: "No heavy lifting and only light exercise..."

Me: "Define 'light exercise' for me, like, REALLY explicitly."

Tech: "Like, light weights are okay, we just don't want you to like...[here she clenches her fists, tightens and shortens her core and grunts]"

I said I understood, but in my head I was laughing so hard.  What she had just done was a "bear down" in Mary Wanless parlance.  And what the doctor doesn't want is to increase the internal pressure on the eye.  And when she told me riding was okay, she didn't expect anyone to ride with internal pressure like that, only to lift like that.

So to sum up my (tongue in cheek) post-LASIK riding instructions: riding is okay, as long as you haven't been to a Mary Wanless clinic in the past and you don't fall off.  You're welcome!