June 4, 2020

On the Way Things Are Right Now

A lot has been said about the unfair, inhumane, unnecessary death of George Floyd, about racial inequality, and about the need for white people in particular to step up and be allies and advocates. Me - I am still in the listening, thinking, processing, learning and donating phase. Words haven't really come to me yet, and that's okay.  It's okay if you feel that way too.

It was pushing past my "avoid talking about divisive subjects" comfort zone, in a good, healthy, growing kind of way, to post what I did on social media yesterday, and I'm going to repeat that here:


I also want to remind everyone that it's okay to be outraged and upset, but it's also okay to find the joy in life right now too. Several people I know - myself included - have expressed feelings of guilt over enjoying themselves in any way when so much strife and anger and protest is going on in other parts of the world.

I turned this over and over in my head for a long time after enjoying my ride on Cadence so much on Sunday. Was it okay to have enjoyed myself that much, right now?

More photos of me with a big stupid grin the whole time I was riding that horse

In the end, I decided to be kind to myself over it, and I also donated $50 (+$50 from work's 100% donation matching program) to Black Lives Matter, sort of in honor of my ride on Cadence even though that has nothing to do with anything.

You can do both. You can both commit to do better and raise your head to enjoy the sunshine. You can both help the cause and enjoy a good ride on your horse. You can donate, listen, blog, ask questions, listen some more and then go for a soul-cleansing run. 

You can give a baby pony lots of scratches.

Self-reflection is good and productive, self-flagellation is unhealthy and unhelpful. When every single news story is a downer, it's especially important to remember all of the good things about this world that we're fighting for, and that we're fighting for the right for every person to be able to experience them equally.

Peace and love, y'all. Take care of each other and take care of yourselves.

10 comments:

  1. I mean that's how I also felt during the whole "some people in SIP can't ride and others can". Especially since my own scrap of what I got was hard won. Life is too short to not enjoy what you can. You can still be sad, mad, or be out there fighting for just causes and still enjoy your horse.

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    1. It crossed my mind that that was similar too.

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  2. Matched your donation just now.

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  3. I dont know what "sundown town" means ...

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    1. In my town, it meant we had signs posted under the "Salem City Limits" signs that warned "colored people" that they needed to be out of the city by sundown every day. This wasn't like a Civil War era thing either, it was within the lifetime of people I knew as a kid in the 90's/2000's.

      Here's some additional reading if you want to know more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sundown_town

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    2. Also I should say, I grew up in southern Illinois, so technically a "northern" state. We're not talking about the Deep South here.

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  4. I think it's important to be kind to yourself while also fighting a good fight. Is it privilege to be able to do that? Yes. But you can fight longer and harder, I think, if your soul gets some cleansing in between.

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  5. This is an important post. I have been so angry and sad (and loud) this last week and a half. "Black Out Tuesday", which I did not participate in because I felt that now was the time NOT to be silent, happened to coincide with my first time back on a horse since lock down started. I ended up posting a single between-the-ears photo on IG when I got home, but I felt guilty posting about anything other than the racism going on in our country, especially amidst a sea of black square on IG...

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