Cob Jockey

No media since I'm not using the Pixio right now due to COVID-19, so you get gratuitous baby pony photos from the Castleberry Cobs Class of 2020.

Remember I'm just over 5 feet tall, they're tiny!

I posted this on October 17:

This is now:


And - almost every ride has been that even for about six weeks now, that's not an outlier.

I almost posted this as a WW, but I felt like the reason for this change needed to be shared.  This is more than just knowing I wasn't turning left and turning left more often after I got the Equisense.  This was figuring out why being on the left rein felt uncomfortable and being on the right rein felt comfortable.

August of 2015 - the left rein has always been my nemesis.

In December, my trainer helped me identify that my leg position when on the left and right rein didn't really change.  All this time I've been pointing fingers at my torso, my hips, my seat, my hands, but I never thought about my legs.  I thought those were "fine".

Ok, we're digging into my "Not Blogworthy" folder for some truly embarrassing never-before-posted outtakes now.  This is "left bend", July 2017.

But in reality, my left leg was always behind the girth and my right was always at the girth - regardless of direction.  And my right leg was almost never on the horse because I was never sitting on the right seatbone.  My right leg just floats out in space - so when I did use my left leg, he just escaped out the right.

He should be in left bend here, we just turned left at the judge and are about to take the diagonal at H.  I am so far off to the right and my left leg is so far back, there's no bend at all. July 2017

So being on the left rein was uncomfortable. I could not get left bend or engage the left hind, and because I couldn't get the bend or left hind engagement I felt like I needed to pull on the inside rein more.

Dat completely ineffective left leg.  No wonder this horse has never bent left for me.

One thing that's important for me to realize: I'm going to be fixing the repercussions of this for a long time, and I'm patient with him on this, because I created it. 

Oh man, Karen managed to capture everything that was wrong with me on the left rein in one picture!  I need to print this out and hang it in my locker at the barn.

I can feel now that the left hind is the weaker leg in both directions.  It becomes less hard with each ride to remember my "new" leg position - mainly because I default to "Am I sitting correctly?" before anything else when I lose the bend.  But for the first time, both directions feel equally "easy", and that's being confirmed by the Equisense, and that's an AWESOME feeling.

Horse without rider: perfectly capable of all this stuff.

Haven't had time to go through this video yet, but just to punctuate what I talked about in my last post, here's a screenshot from last night's ride (my first lesson with my regular trainer in...a long time):






Amazing what a difference not giving up on the inside hind and remembering to keep your reins short enough makes.

So, ya'll are doing 2pointober, and meanwhile, I'm over here doing "Canteringandturninglefttober". 


The Equisense has continued to be illuminating in the most shameful ways.  Like, you hope you'd recognize the fact that the canter is his weakest gait because you literally never do it or that turning left is uncomfortable for you both because you go right a lot more, but there's a difference between casually thinking that and seeing cold, hard numbers that you cannot ignore.


The above rides were from earlier this month.  I've since set some casual goals to increase the amount of cantering and going left that we do every ride. 

There's already been improvement.  Each ride between the one above and the one below has been progressively longer in terms of cantering.  The left rein comes and goes, but is generally trending upward too.


The reason I'm not cantering enough is largely because until he's really on my aids, his canter is not fun to ride.  So I spend most of the ride getting him perfect in the trot before deciding to canter. 

But, often the canter helps the trot, so it's a catch 22 that I need to recognize and power through.  My last ride showed some definite improvement in that, with cantering early and often (for me):


It's still such a "nice to have" that I'm almost guilty owning it, because it's really not essential, but it's also shedding light on some really important things we need to fix, and there's a lot of value in that.

My lesson last night pretty much definitively proved that my loose left shoulder has been holding us back.  It was so refreshing to come out, and in my warmup, get him to the place he needed to be for us to do real work.

Also I got out super early and clipped and detangled him.  It's just so nice spending time at the barn in the summer.

My trainer said, "So what was so great about Tuesday's ride?" I told her what I figured out, and she chuckled and said, "So...exactly what I've been telling you for years?"  After six years, she and I have that kind of relationship where she can honestly (and with a smile on her face) tell me something like that, but it's totally true.  I'm a slow learner.  I have learned this before.  It didn't stick.  It will now.

I mean, if we're being honest, I really just figured out the inside leg to the outside rein for probably the 17th time on this blog. Thank goodness for blogging, so I can go back and reference things like the lesson with T.

Freshly detangled.

We spent most of the lesson spiraling in and out on the right.  She noted that my shoulder made a huge difference in the overall picture of me, and that it also solved my wayward left hand problem.  For my part, it's very easy to be aware of now: if he went from going really well to falling apart, 100% of the time (at least last night) I had given that shoulder forward.

He's aaaaalmost done shedding.

When we switched to the left, it was clear things weren't quite so figured out.  When I asked him to soften and follow the left rein, my trainer noted that his whole body went right.  So on a left circle, we counterbent him, and asked him to just follow where his nose went.

It's a work in progress - but we're making progress.

Can't believe I'm writing this, but in my last lesson a week ago, my trainer said something that jogged my memory.  Years ago, when the wheels were really falling off of Connor and I, she had me take two lessons on her 3rd level imported Lusitano, T.

He was SO well-trained, you'd think these two were joined at the brain.

T tattled on me to her for all sorts of things, but the most mindblowing thing was my left shoulder, which he taught me is always in a constant state of giving forward, so it's almost like the rein it's holding is not there.  If I took it back and carried some tension in it in order to keep it there, life was good.  If I didn't, he went around terribly.

But he was a man of many talents, in addition to Dressage.

I can't even remember what my trainer said on Thursday, but basically, in my head, I thought "I wonder if this is an inside leg outside rein problem..." which morphed into "I don't have an outside rein to put him in..." which morphed into "Oh shit, my shoulder..."  which morphed into "I wonder if I'm overusing my inside rein to compensate for not having an outside rein which is why he won't get off the right shoulder and just curls his neck instead..."

Welcome to my head.  Constant overanalyzing.

Late spring/early summer is probably my favorite time of year here.  Don't mind the pile of footing on the right, it's temporary.

It worked, though, as once I pulled my left shoulder back I was finally able to get a counterbent left circle (right bend), after 20 minutes of trying to get it and trying everything under the sun.  Then after a weekend of being out of town, I rode by myself on Tuesday and...

That is his LEFT side!  We never get foamy lips on the left side.  I did spiral ins and outs from about 20m-15m, first at the walk and then at the trot, really focusing on giving him a left rein and keeping my shoulder...not tight, just present.

My circle, visible in the arena that had been dragged right before I got on.  Which I am partially just showing you to show off our new expanded arena that is finally in!  Fence isn't back up yet.

It was, without a doubt, the best ride on my own I've ever had with this horse.  And it's also the first time I've solved a problem on my own, rather than just trying to maintain the good work from our last lesson and not backslide.  Is that terrible?  Yes.  Is it a huge accomplishment?  Also yes.  Plus it gives me hope that I won't be totally lost when my trainer has her baby in a few weeks.

Tired, tired pony after that one.

Another lesson tonight, and Connor's Aunt Mary will be there!  Can't wait!

Last night was awesome, and also probably paint-dryingly boring to anyone who isn't a Dressage nut.  Apologies in advance.

When we last left our heroes, their Dressage had gone all to crap and after sending up some signal flares and SOS calls to the trainer, we figured out he was piling all his weight onto his right shoulder in both directions, aka "not straight".

My rides since then have been workmanlike.  Nothing as good as last week's lesson, nothing near as bad as when we both forgot what straightness was, but we made progress, and she noticed and told me so.  "I can tell you've been working hard on this outside of lessons," is the biggest compliment ever.


Last night was 100% spent on a 20m circle (you're asleep already, aren't you?).  The first exercise was spiraling in and out to a cone at the center of it, right rein.  I had to move his shoulders out, turn his nose, and I had to do it like every two steps, which she earned her lesson fee by repeating overandoverandover.  But I can't just move him out from my inside leg, I also have to catch and hold him in my bad rein, the left one.

Next, same thing, but to the left, and because his problems are the same but totally different to the left (same = he piles on the right shoulder, different = that manifests itself differently to the left).  He kept trying to carry his haunches in and his shoulder out, so I had to focus on leading him with the inside (left) rein, getting that shoulder to really come through on the inside.

Synchronized chili vulturing on my lunch break.

To this direction, I really have to wait him out to get him to come into the bridle, but it was worth it.  It was the best he's gone in months, and we got the compliment, "Wow, that's some fancy trot, he's so free through the shoulders right now."  Bingo!

Christmas candy practicing, (husband made these, I roll and wrap).  This is why we should be friends.

Finally, we did it at the canter.  The right (always the worse direction) was motorcycleland (his favorite canter evasion) and she said he's got so much weight on the right shoulder, his left (outside) fore is actually almost crossing over it.  So she had me pick up the left rein when the left fore was just about to come off the ground, and take it up and over to encourage him to do the same with his foot.  It made a huge difference, and we ended up cooling out by working on that at the walk in the leg yield.

I ended by telling her I am enjoying Dressage bootcamp, and I am.  When 45 minutes makes that big of a difference in the way your horse moves, how could you not?

I am so happy to report that last night's lesson was the best Dressage ride I've had since probably August!

We got dem Dressage skillz (again).

Crooked.

REALLY piling on the right, and me doing all the wrong things.

I think I felt something at the end of my ride today.  Remember my forward left shoulder, and straight left arm, which I have worked on to the right, like we're going in the below photo, but not so much yet to the left:



And Connor being less bendy to the left:

MOTORCYCLE!

"Being straight is hard, let's be crooked!"

Borrowed saddle pad, I think I need to find more pads in this shade of green.

"...friends?"

Dirty mane, stupid winter!

Where have I been?  Snowed in!  I have definitely reached the "acceptance" stage of the shock/denial/anger/acceptance scale.  I am numb to the fact that I didn't get to see Connor from Sunday to Saturday this week - another six inches + ice fell on Tuesday.  Thank goodness I have such good people taking care of him!

That said, I did get a lesson in today.

We schooled flat in our jump saddle today, focusing a lot on my squirrely left hand.  It's always lower than the right.  Look at these pictures from last summer:

Lower...

Lower...

Lower...you get the idea.  How on earth can I ride inside leg to outside rein if my outside rein looks like this?  Exactly.  I can't.

I can tell my trainer has hit that point where she's not sure what to do to get me to correct it.  Part of the problem is that since she pointed it out, I haven't gotten time to puzzle it out on my own in between lessons thanks to the weather.  Part of it is that we are doing technical things that are new for me, and since carrying my hands properly is not yet an ingrained behavior, and you can only think actively about one thing at once, it's getting relegated to the backseat.

All that said, I tried hard today and Connor felt very good.  He was forward, super forward, after his new clip, and was very full of himself.  She said he started out not knowing what to do with that much energy, and then settled in nicely.  We worked on body control a lot, and especially on giving with the inside rein.  If I give with the inside rein, and he stays in my outside rein, he's carrying himself.  If I give with the inside rein and he falls apart, he's relying on me to keep him together, and we should be getting past that, if I can just give up that inside rein.  For most of the time in my rides now, he's in self-carriage - this is very new!

The rest of the lesson was spent schooling counter canter.  Left lead in either direction is easy, but we blew the right lead counter canter a lot.  "You can tell that both of you are more comfortable picking up the left lead canter."  I'm sure this has to do with my one-sidedness, but I'm not sure why quite yet.

"At any rate, counter canter doesn't show up til prelim.  You have a while," she joked.  Connor will likely max out at Training.  But he feels so good at the regular canter after a bit of counter canter, which is why we're schooling it.

Cooling out.  I like to make him go over everything in the arena, and at weird angles, when we're just walking around.  It's good for him to think about where his feet are, per Aunt Mary!

Team practice tomorrow, and she put this up on the farm's Facebook tonight:



Bring it on, it looks like fun!

It's not uneven strength that's causing this, it's uneven mobility.

So far, I've figured out what Connor is doing (stiff/unwilling to the left) and what I'm doing (not using my left leg or right rein properly).  But I need to know why I'm not using my left leg in order to fix it.

Did I tell you guys the barn got a mini donkey?  Here he is napping in the warm sun/cool morning today.

Dressage llama!

I noticed today that when I use my right leg, it stays long, my hips don't move in the saddle, and it doesn't take much to get Connor to bend around it.  When I use my left leg, the whole leg comes up, my left seatbone drives into the saddle, my right seatbone comes off of the saddle, and my left side collapses.  I tried using my left as independently as the right, and couldn't.  I've always had a harder time getting my left heel down, keeping my left leg at the girth.  Sometimes I even ask my trainer to check my stirrups because I'm sure the left is shorter than the right (it isn't, usually).  Curious, I pulled both knees away from the saddle and realized that I could get my right knee several inches away from the saddle, but my left couldn't go further than 1.5" to 2".  Bingo.  No wonder I'm not using my left leg, it's physically more difficult/impossible to use it the same way I do the right.

So, it's back to the Supple Leopard for some hip mobility exercises!

I'm currently reading a book called "Riding in the Moment - Discover the Hidden Language of Dressage" by Michael Shaffer.  I bought it because it's one of few equestrian books available on my Kindle that aren't Harlequin novels involving ripped cowboys - not that there's anything wrong with ripped cowboys.  One of the main ideas of the book is that classical Dressage is taught from the top down, so concepts are introduced in terms of how a finished horse reacts to the aids, and that's hard for both a young horse to interpret and a beginning Dressage rider to understand.  He's an advocate of teaching from the bottom up - from the most basic concepts of, for example, stop instead of halt.

Even looking right when I'm trying to take a conformation photo.  Geez!

It's been an interesting read, and one I can relate to with this current left bend predicament.  I love Dressage, almost more than jumping.  Connor is the furthest educated horse I've ever ridden, so since I'm doing all of the riding on him, you can see why we get in these sticky situations.  I've always read that horses go on the bit when ridden "correctly" and "from back to front."  As a neophyte to Dressage, that sounds a lot like "it's magic".  I've gotten close before, but learning how to teach him to go on the bit/through his back overall has been such a long, stumbly process, full of progress and setbacks.  I'm only just now learning what these concepts mean, and why classical Dressage teaches them the way it does.

There's no other way to teach it, because you have to stumble into it by feel, hopefully with some good coaching.  Riding correctly is riding the horse between your inside leg and outside rein, which I keep discovering again and again through different problems, always with the same solution.  Riding back to front is learning to use your legs to engage the hind end and ride that energy into your hands.  Sounds like complete made up sunshine and rainbows to a practical person, new to Dressage, riding a horse that isn't a schoolmaster.  Makes perfect sense on a schoolmaster.  Makes perfect sense once you finally get it, once you hear something like "It takes so much leg to put him together!" And that's Michael Shaffer's argument, and that's why it takes us adult amateurs so long to work up the ranks.  And that's okay.

Today I had a fantastic ride, because I'm continuing to explore the left-bend issue by firmly, but fairly, insisting that he bend around my inside leg, within the outside rein.  I learned that when I remember to use my left leg, I often don't have enough outside rein for him to come into, so he pops his shoulder out as yet another evasion to working correctly.  This is because it's difficult for him, not because he's a bad pony.  It took about a half hour of work at the walk and trot, not moving on from anything until he bent correctly, in order to get him really "on the bit" in a way I normally can't get on my own.

We're getting there.  Slowly and steadily, we're getting there.

I've skirted around this discovery for a long time now, but it wasn't until my trainer's "he requires so much leg to keep together" comment that everything came together for me.  I was almost all of the way there in that last post, all that was left to do was execute.

When I thought I was using my left leg before, it was really just in place, inactive compared to my right.  Tonight, Connor was once again completely stiff going left, but first level Dressage soft and through on the right.  The difference was dramatic.  So I put my left leg firmly on him when I asked for that softening in the way we worked on in my lesson, really overexaggerated it, (and made sure I wasn't blocking with the right on accident) and this happened:


No wait, well, okay, that happened too, my inner thigh was on fire, but this is what actually happened:

LEFT BEND NIRVANA

Rinse, repeat, lightbulb moment.  I can think of so many times over the last year in which I should have realized this more fully, but didn't.  It's amazing that thinking about one little comment my trainer made two weeks ago has caused such introspective riding and progress on my own, and I made sure to tell her that.